it's okay to not be okay.

hey everyone.

i hope you are starting your week off just how you wanted. i have been out of my "office" for about 4 months now. i took a very much needed break.

image from: http://newfilleosophy.com/2017/09/10/suicidal-awareness-month/


after ConchaCon 2019 (that was AMAZING) i really needed to take a step back and reevaluate myself & my relationships. i got consumed with using up 24 hours to the fullest, EVERYDAY. until one day i just couldn't. i finally burnt myself out. i was not okay & i didn't know how to accept that.


i needed a break. a long long break. i needed to go back to living a "normal" life. a life where I didn't spend my days rushed and in 50 different meetings, taking down a fire there, and one over here, and one in the back. i was always too busy to go to a family event, too busy to hang out with my best friend, too busy to go on a date with my own husband.


i woke up.

what is breakfast?? coffee? ok.

emails.

texts.

meeting.

post office.

work.

work fire.

work.. another work fire.

lunch??

follow ups.

work.

emails.

drive home.

call my husband.

email.

prep for next day.

email.

try to cook dinner.

business call.

orders.

business email.

orders.

plan out ig feed.

edit photos.

orders.

business emails.

"come to bed" - husband

"almost done" - me

2am: OH NO.

im almost done. let me just finish.

4am: SHOOT.

go to bed.

repeat.


my day was completely filled. not a bad thing, not with bad things. just a bad balance.

i gained weight. lots of weight. i took on a new responsibility that was beyond me that changed my life. i found out i was in debt. i was frustrated all the time, i was too busy to get "depressed" in my mind. but i was. i was not happy with me. i was not happy with how i was performing as a wife, friend, a family member or as myself.


so i started to focus on myself.

i started drinking water & going to the gym.

i only read work emails at work.

i cleaned out my office & closet.

i started focusing on my husband & my puppy.

i reconnected with old friends.

i started to journal. it's helped me a lot.

my new obsession is my planner.

i am moving in a few weeks too.


i am not ready to re-open my shop yet. i am on a hunt for an assistant so i don't feel overwhelmed. but when i do, be ready. i've been thinking of & sketching some pretty amazing things.




44 views
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram